Maximum Achievement

If you can determine exactly what it is you want, you can find out how others have achieved it before you. If you then do the same things they have done, you’ll achieve the same results they have.

Nature is neutral. She is no respecter of persons. She plays no favorites. She gives you back what you put in, no more and no less. And you can determine what you put in.

Goethe once wrote, “Nature understands no jesting; she is always true, always serious, always severe; she is always right, and the errors and faults are always those of man. The man incapable of appreciating her, she despises and only to the apt, the pure, and the true, does she resign herself and reveal her secrets.

you must instead study and emulate those who have already done what you want to do and achieved the results you want to achieve.

When I decided to get into real estate development, I hit the books once more. I got a real estate license and read everything I could find on the subject. For my first project, having never developed anything before, I optioned, financed, leased out, built and sold a three-million-dollar shopping center. And I learned everything I needed to know by studying and by asking questions of other successful developers.

I studied sales, management and business so I could learn how to make a good living.

I had always been fascinated with the subject of happiness, and why it was that some people were obviously happier and more fulfilled than others. To find the answers, I studied psychology, philosophy, religion, metaphysics, motivation and personal achievement.

Make Your Life a Masterpiece

You can’t hit a target you can’t see. You can’t accomplish wonderful things with your life if you have no idea of what they are. You must first become absolutely clear about what you want if you are serious about unlocking the extraordinary power that lies within you.

power that lies within you.

You have to decide exactly what “success” means to you. You have to decide what your life would look like if you made it into a masterpiece.

All great achievement begins with your deciding what it is you really want and then dedicating yourself wholeheartedly to attaining it.

Your first job is to create a blueprint, a clear picture of where you are going and what it will look like when you get there. This image will then serve as an organizing principle, a guide, a benchmark, against which you can measure and compare everything you do in the process of turning it into your reality.

The first of these seven ingredients of success, and easily the most important, is peace of mind.

First, I learned that if I didn’t commit to achieving my own happiness, no one else would. If my aim in life was only to make others happy, I would always be at the mercy of the feelings of others, whoever they might be.

As Abraham Lincoln once said, “You can’t help the poor by becoming one of them.” I found that I couldn’t make others happy unless I could make myself happy first.

The key to happiness then is

to systematically eliminate, or at least minimize, the parts of your life that cause you negativity or stress of any kind.

The way to live a happy, productive life is to achieve your own peace of mind by systematically eliminating the negative people, situations and emotions that make you unhappy.

For the moment, though, your job is to engage in what is called “mountaintop thinking.” Project forward in thought and imagine your ideal life. What combination of ingredients would have to exist for you to be perfectly happy? Don’t worry about what’s possible or not possible for you at the moment. Free your mind from all limitations and be perfectly selfish. Just define your life exactly as it would have to be for you to enjoy the peace of mind you desire.

What would you be doing? Where would you be living? Who would be there with you? How would you spend your time, day in and day out?

The second ingredient of success is health and energy.

Imagine yourself enjoying perfect health. Think of how you would be if, you were your ideal image of physical fitness. How would you look? How would you feel? How much would you weigh? What sort of foods would you eat and what kind of exercises would you do? What would you be doing more of, and less of?

The more he thought about himself as he could be, rather than as he was, the more excited he became about the very idea of training for a marathon. He began to see himself as lean and fit. He became more and more convinced that he could do it.

The third ingredient of success is loving relationships.

relationships. These

The fourth ingredient of success is financial freedom.

It is not money that lies at the root of all evil; it is lack of money.

You therefore owe it to yourself to develop your talents and abilities to the point where you know that you can earn enough money so that you don’t have to worry about it.

Imagine that you had a magic wand and you could wave it to design your financial life in any way you wanted. What would your life look like if you achieved all your financial goals? What difference would it make in your day-to-day activities? What would you be doing more of, or less of? How much would you like to be earning one year, five years, ten years from today? What kind of lifestyle would you like to be enjoying? How much would you like to have in the bank? How much would you like to be worth when you retire?

The fifth ingredient of success is worthy goals and ideals. Perhaps your deepest subconscious drive, according to Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, is the need for meaning and purpose in life. To be truly happy, you need a clear sense of direction. You need a commitment to something bigger and more important than yourself. You need to feel that your life stands for something, that you are somehow making a valuable contribution to your world.

Happiness has been defined as “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” You can only be happy when you are working step by step toward something that is really important to you.

Think about what sort of activities and accomplishments you most enjoy. What were you doing in the past when you were the happiest? What sort of activities give you your greatest sense of meaning and purpose in life?

accomplishments you most enjoy. What were you doing in the past when you were the happiest? What sort of activities give you your greatest sense of meaning and purpose in life?

The sixth ingredient of success is self-knowledge and self-awareness. Throughout all of history, self-knowledge has gone hand in hand with inner happiness and outer achievement. The phrase “Man, know thyself

self-knowledge and self-awareness.

Throughout all of history, self-knowledge has gone hand in hand with inner happiness and outer achievement. The phrase “Man, know thyself” goes all the way back to ancient Greece. To perform at your best, you need to know who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. You need to understand the forces and influences that have shaped your character from earliest childhood. You need to know why you react and respond the way you do to the people and situations around you. It is only when you understand and accept yourself that you can begin moving forward in the other areas of your life.

all the way back to ancient Greece. To perform at your best, you need to know who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. You need to understand the forces and influences that have shaped your character from earliest childhood. You need to know why you react and respond the way you do to the people and situations around you. It is only when you understand and accept yourself that you can begin moving forward in the other areas of your life.

The seventh ingredient of success is a sense of personal fulfillment.

Your first exercise has been described throughout this chapter. It is for you to take the brush of your imagination and begin painting a masterpiece on the

canvas of your life. It is for you to decide clearly what would make you the happiest in everything you are doing. Decide what’s right for you before you decide what’s possible. Create your ideal life in every detail. Don’t be concerned about the process of getting from where you are to where you want to go. For now, just focus on creating a vision of your perfect future. In the chapters ahead, you will learn how to turn your visions into your realities.

Today, we know that an enormous amount of illness and disease is caused by negative mental attitudes and unhappiness of various kinds. People actually make themselves sick and poison their relationships with their own thinking.

People can do anything, be anything, go anywhere, change any part of their lives for the better, whenever they want. Why is it then that so many people persist in their negativity and pessimism when they are free to think anything they want? Why is it that so few people are living up to their potential?

failing to plan is planning to fail.

If you want to be a doctor, you study and practice medicine. If you want to be a good cook, you study cooking by getting cookbooks and using proven recipes. If you want to live a life full of joy, happiness and self-fulfillment, you study the happiest and most successful people you can find and then do what they do until you get the same results in your own life. This was an amazing thought

everything you are or ever will be is up to you. You are where you are today because that is where you have chosen to be. You are always free to choose your actions, or inactions, and your life today is the sum total of your choices, good and bad. If you want your future to be different, you have to make better choices.

To move ahead, you have to both learn and unlearn a few things. You are locked in place at your current level of knowledge and skill. You can go no further with what you now know. Your future largely depends on what you learn and practice from this moment onward.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Do what you can, with what you have, right where you are.”

No one would seriously try to master any complex subject without learning everything possible from those who had gone before and demonstrated mastery in that area. This is true in law, medicine, engineering and business. It is equally true in human relations, happiness, health, wealth and peace of mind.

You are affected by what you do, say, hear, see, read, watch, listen to and, especially, by the people you associate with and the conversations you participate in. Each of these influences can trigger or stimulate one or more of the other influences. All of them in combination have created, and are creating, the person you are today, and every aspect of your life.

In every case, control over your life begins with your thoughts, the only thing over which you do have complete control. How you think about any situation determines how you feel, and your feelings determine your behavior. Self-discipline, self-mastery, self-control all begin with you taking control of your thinking. No person or situation can make you feel anything—it is only the way you think about a situation that makes you feel the way you do. And you can control the way you think. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

The self-confidence that comes with feeling in control is why a person with a clear purpose and a plan always has an edge over someone who is vague or unsure.

Examine the various areas of your life with a mental checklist and decide where you feel positive and in control, and where you don’t. Then begin thinking of the specific things you could do to get control in those parts of your life causing you stress.

The Law of Cause and Effect says that for every effect in your life there is a specific cause. It is so important it has been called the “Iron Law of the Universe.” It says that everything happens for a reason, whether or not you know what it is. There are no accidents.

The Law of Cause and Effect says that there are specific causes of success and there are specific causes of failure. There are specific causes for health and for illness. There are specific causes for happiness and for unhappiness. If there is an effect in your life that you want more of, you merely need to trace it back to the causes and repeat the causes. If there is an effect in your life that you do not enjoy, you need to trace it back to the causes and get rid of them.

Insanity has been defined as “doing the same things in the same way and expecting to get different results.” To some degree, we’re all guilty of this. We need to face this tendency squarely and deal with it honestly.

There is a Scottish proverb that says, “It is better to light one wee candle than to curse the darkness.” It is better by far to sit down and carefully analyze the reasons for your difficulties than to get upset and angry about them. In the book of Proverbs, it says, “Whatsoever a man soweth, that also shall he reap.”

whatever you sow, you will reap. It also says that whatever you are reaping today is the result of what you have sown in the past. If you wish to reap a different harvest in any area of your life in the future, you need to plant different seeds today, and of course, this refers primarily to mental seeds.

The most important application of the Law of Cause and Effect, or sowing and reaping, is this: “Thoughts are causes and conditions are effects.” Your thoughts are the primary causes of the conditions of your life.

Everything you are or ever will be, will be as a result of the way you think. If you change the quality of your thinking, you change the quality of your life.

The Law of Belief says that whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality.

Perhaps the biggest mental roadblocks that you will ever have to overcome are those contained in your self-limiting beliefs.

One day, I read a true story about a young man from a small town who graduated from high school with straight A’s. He then applied to the state university for admission. As part of the admissions procedure, he had to take the Scholastic Aptitude Test, like all the applicants to universities nationwide. A few weeks later, he received a letter from the admissions department informing him that he had scored in the 99th percentile on the test and he was accepted for the fall semester. He was happy to be accepted but there was one problem. He didn’t know about percentiles and he concluded mistakenly that the 99th percentile was his IQ score. He knew that the average IQ is 100 and he felt he could never do university-level work with his “limited” intelligence. For the entire fall semester he failed or nearly failed every course. Finally, his counselor called him in and asked him why he was doing so poorly. “Well,” he said, “you can’t blame me. I’ve only got a 99 IQ.” The counselor had the student’s file in front of him. “Why do you say that?” he asked. “That’s what it said in my letter of admission to the university,” he replied. When the counselor realized what had happened he explained the difference between an IQ and a percentile. “A 99th percentile means that you scored equal to or higher than 99 percent of all the students in America who wrote this test. You’re one of the brightest kids on this campus.” When the young man realized his error and changed his belief about his intelligence, he became a different person. He went back into his classes and went to work with a new sense of competence and confidence. By the end of the semester he was on the honor roll and he eventually graduated in the top ten of his class. This story holds a valuable

Once you have accepted it as true, your belief makes it a fact for you. As Henry Ford said, “If you believe that you can do a thing, or if you believe you cannot, in either case, you are right.”

The fourth source is the expectations that you have of yourself. The wonderful thing about expectations is that you can manufacture your own. You can create your own mental set, your own way of approaching the world, confidently, expecting the very best of yourself in every situation. Your expectations of yourself are in themselves powerful enough to override any negative expectations that anyone else may have about you.

Sow a thought and you reap an act; Sow an act and you reap a habit; Sow a habit and you reap a character; Sow a character and you reap a destiny. You can have more and be more and do more because you can change the person you are. You can change your dominant thoughts by exercising rigorous mental mastery. You can discipline yourself by keeping your thoughts on what you want and refusing to think about what you don’t want.

William James wrote, “The greatest revolution of my life is the discovery that individuals can change the outer aspects of their lives by changing the inner attitudes of their minds.” One of the most important questions you can ask yourself is, “What kind of a person do I have to be to earn the respect of the people I care about and live the kind of life I want to live?”

Everything that happens in your life first begins and takes place in the form of thought.

This is why thoughtfulness is a key quality of successful men and women.

Becoming a skilled thinker in your own life means using your mental powers in such a way that they serve your best interests all of the time.

First, your relationships. What is it in your attitudes, beliefs, expectations and behaviors that is causing your problems with other people?

Second, your health. What are your ideas and beliefs about your weight, level of fitness, personal appearance, diet and rest? How do these beliefs help or hinder you?

Third, your career. How do your thoughts

affect your position, your progress, the quality of your work and the amount of satisfaction you get from what you do? Fourth, your level of financial achievement. What would you like to increase or improve? What are your beliefs and expectations concerning your material well-being? How much would you like to earn, and why? Fifth, the quality of your inner life—your thoughts, feelings, peace of mind and happiness. What beliefs, attitudes and expectations are creating your world today? Which of them do you need to change? If you are honest with yourself, you will find that you have self-limiting ways of thinking in one or more of these areas. This is quite normal. Honestly facing the facts about yourself is the starting point of rapid self-improvement.

Earl Nightingale referred to attitude as the most important word in the language.

Your attitude is the way you approach life.

It is your “angle of attack.” It is your general mental tone and the outward expression of your thoughts and feelings. A positive mental attitude is a generally optimistic and cheerful way of greeting the people, problems and events that you encounter throughout your day.

wrong. As Epictetus wrote, “Circumstances do not make the man; they merely reveal him to himself.”

If you expect good things to happen to you, you’ll be positive and optimistic in your approach to people and situations. If you look for the good in others, you’ll probably find it. If you expect something wonderful to happen to you today, it probably will.

Everything is from the inner to the outer. What you are doing and saying on the outside always has its roots in your inner life.

In other words, you are where you are and what you are because of what you believe yourself to be. Whether you are rich or poor, happy or unhappy, fat or thin, successful or unsuccessful, your beliefs make you this way.

Each of us has been programmed to walk, talk, think and act the way we do today. You cannot think, feel or behave any differently on the outside unless you change your master program, your self-concept, on the inside.

thoughts. You can begin to think of yourself as you want to be rather than as you are.

You can decide to make every part of your life positive, exciting and uplifting.

You perform as well as you believe yourself capable of performing.

If you are in sales, you have an overall self-concept for how good you are as a salesperson, which determines how well you do in sales. You also have individual self-concepts for how good you are at prospecting, identifying needs, presenting solutions, answering objections and closing. In each of these areas, you will be relaxed and competent, or tense and unsure, depending upon how you think of yourself performing those tasks. You have a self-concept for how well-organized and efficient you are, in both your

personal and your work life. And you will always behave in a manner consistent with your self-concept.

Sadly, unsuccessful and unhappy men and women have very fuzzy ideals, or in most cases, no self-ideals at all. They give little or no thought to the person they want to be or to the qualities that they would like to develop in themselves.

The more you like yourself, the more confidence you have, the more positive is your attitude, the healthier and more energetic you are and the happier you are overall. And since how you feel is largely determined by how you talk to yourself, silently or aloud, you can raise your self-esteem at will by saying, over and over, with enthusiasm and conviction, the words “I like myself! I like myself! I like myself!

And since how you feel is largely determined by how you talk to yourself, silently or aloud, you can raise your self-esteem at will by saying, over and over, with enthusiasm and conviction, the words “I like myself! I like myself! I like myself!” Or, better yet, you can say “I love myself! I love myself! I love myself!”

Better yet, look in the next mirror you pass and say “I like myself.” You’ll find that you can’t say this five or six times without feeling genuinely better about yourself.

There are two rules of self-esteem and self-liking: Rule number one is that you can never like or love anyone else more than you like or love yourself. You can’t give away what you don’t have. Rule number two is that you can never expect anyone else to like or love you more than you like, love or respect yourself. Your own level of self-liking and self-acceptance is the control valve on the quality of your human relationships. It is the problem or the solution in every human situation. Everything you do to build and reinforce your own self-esteem increases the amount of satisfaction and happiness you enjoy with the other people in your life.

For example, I read recently about a thirty-two-year-old woman who was involved in an automobile accident. As a result of hitting her head, she experienced total amnesia. At the time of the accident, she was married, with two children, eight and ten years old. She was extremely shy, she had a stutter and she was very nervous around other people. She had a poor self-concept and a low level of self-esteem. To compound this problem, she did not work and she had a limited social circle. Because of her total amnesia, when she woke up in the hospital she did not remember a single thing about her past life. She did not remember her parents, and she did not remember her husband and her children. Her mind was a complete blank. This was so unusual that various specialists, neurosurgeons and psychologists were brought in to talk to her and to examine her. She was such a special case that she became very well known. When she recovered physically, she was interviewed on radio and television. She began studying her condition, and eventually she wrote articles and a book describing her experience. She began traveling and giving lectures to medical and professional groups. Ultimately she became a recognized authority on

amnesia. With no memory of her previous experiences, her childhood and her upbringing, and as a result of being the center of attention and being treated as though she were a very important person, she developed a totally new personality. She became positive, selfconfident and outgoing. She became gregarious and extremely friendly, and she developed an excellent sense of humor. She became popular and met and moved in an entirely new social circle. In effect, she developed a brand-new self-concept that was completely consistent with high performance, happiness and life satisfaction. She substituted one mental program for another. And you can do the same thing.

The inhibitive negative habit pattern is learned when the child is told over and over again, “Don’t! Get away from that! Stop that! Don’t touch! Watch out!” The child’s natural impulse is to touch, taste, smell, feel and explore every part of his or her world. When the parents react to the child’s exploratory behavior by shouting, by becoming upset, by

The fear of failure and the fear of rejection are learned responses,

You begin the process of raising your self-esteem and overriding your fears by repeating the powerful words, “I like myself! I like myself! I like myself!” over and over. Start off each day by repeating “I like myself” fifty or one hundred times until the words penetrate your subconscious mind. You will soon see and feel the difference in your self-confidence, your competence and your relationships with others. You will start to feel wonderful about yourself.

Because of your self-concept, you become what you think about most of the time. Your dominant thoughts and

aspirations become your reality. The things you think about, and the way you think about them, determine your levels of health, wealth and happiness in every area of your life.

You have created your life today by all of your previous thinking. You are where you are and what

you are because of yourself. You can change your future at any time by taking control of your conscious mind from this point forward. You can make your life into something wonderful—an experience of freedom, joy, health, happiness and prosperity—simply by deciding to do so, and by refusing to entertain any contradictory thoughts at the same time. It’s up to you.

To achieve different results, you must become a different person. You must change your goals and ideals for yourself and develop a new self-image. By the Law of Correspondence, your outer world will reflect your inner world. You must become a new person on the inside to permanently experience the good you desire on the outside.

become a different person.

Many people have had the experience of losing a job they didn’t like and then going out looking for the identical job somewhere else.

A major turning point in your thinking comes when you change your language from “whether” to “how.” When you start thinking about how you are going to accomplish something you want, and you simultaneously refuse to consider whether it’s possible or not, your entire mentality begins to change.

in temperature or noise level. You are instantly affected by conversations or confrontations with other people. One unkind remark can put you off for the whole day. One bit of good news can make you happy and cheerful for hours. Unfortunately, unless you control them carefully, most of the suggestions in your environment will tend to be negative. The radio, television and newspapers are full of “negative sensationalism.” Most conversations are filled with carping, complaining and condemning. Most people have developed the habit of “ain’t it awful” thinking and talking.

Their conversations are negative and critical.

Virtually everything you do is the result of habit. The way you talk, the way you work, drive, think, interact with others, spend money and deal with the important people in your life are all largely habitual.

successful people are invariably punctual and dependable.

As Shakespeare wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” You live in a mental world. Nothing around you has any meaning except the meaning you give it with your thoughts. If you change your ways of thinking, you change your life.

The good news is that all habits are learned, and they can therefore be unlearned. You are today, in every respect, the result of your conditioning, almost like a laboratory animal. You have been trained, or have trained yourself, to be the person you are, and to get the results in life that you’re getting.

engaged in over the years. You can change if you want to. The Law of Practice states that whatever thought or action you repeat often enough becomes a new habit. You can develop any habit you consider desirable or necessary. You can become the kind of person you want to be if you can discipline yourself to think and act in a way that is consistent with your new, higher

ideals long enough for them to become new habits. This is how you become a new and better person.

Your ability to take control of your mind and begin thinking the kind of thoughts that lead to the outcomes you desire is the starting point of the process that leads to complete freedom, happiness and self-expression.

Happy, effective men and women recognize the power of their thoughts and they are very emphatic about keeping them positive and constructive. Your mind is so powerful that you must control it with great firmness so that it is continually moving you in the

direction you want to go, or it will move you away from your desires. Changing

MENTAL POWER IN TWENTY-ONE DAYS One of the most powerful ways to change your mental habits and the future direction of your life is for you to go on a twenty-one-day Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) diet. For twenty-one days you

One of the most powerful ways to change your mental habits and the future direction of your life is for you to go on a twenty-one-day Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) diet. For twenty-one days you keep your thoughts, words and actions consistent, all day, every day, with the goals you want to achieve and the person that you would like to become.

keep your thoughts, words and actions consistent, all day, every day, with the goals you want to achieve and the person that you would like to become. You need to stay on this diet for twenty-one days for two reasons. First, it takes an adult between fourteen and twenty-one days to develop a new habit of thought, a new “neural groove” in the brain, like a cow path across a pasture.

Think about yourself, in a casual and relaxed way, as the person you would like to be, with the qualities you would like to have. Begin imagining what life would be like, what your home would be like, what your work would be like, what your health would be like, and the standard of living that you would most enjoy. Allow yourself to fantasize and luxuriate in the daydream and in the feeling of achieving your goals. This activity is the first signal that a new direction is being programmed into your subconscious computer.

1. Visualization The first of these actions is visualization. This is perhaps the most powerful technique of self-image modification available to mankind. Your visual images become your reality. They intensify your desires and deepen your beliefs. They increase your… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

The first of these actions is visualization. This is perhaps the most powerful technique of self-image modification available to mankind. Your visual images become your reality.

The first of these elements is frequency. How often you visualize a particular future event, goal or behavior has a powerful impact on your thinking, feeling and acting. People who accomplish extraordinary things visualize their desired results continually. They think about what they want to accomplish all the time. They replay the ideal image of their futures over and over, like projecting a slide on the screen of their minds. In fact, the frequency with which you visualize not only… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

The second element in visualization is vividness. This refers to the clarity with which you see something in your imagination. There is a direct relationship between how vividly you can see a desired… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

Successful people are very clear about what they want, and of course, this refers to the clarity… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

Unsuccessful people are unsure of what they want… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

The third dimension of visualization is intensity. This refers… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

emotion that you combine with your… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

Unsuccessful people, on the other hand, are usually unmotivated and unexcited about what they are doing and where they are going. They have a general attitude of pessimism that keeps them functioning at a low level of energy. They tend to be more passive and accepting of… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

The fourth part of visualization is duration. This refers to the length of time you can hold the picture of something you want in your mind. The longer you imagine a desired future event, the more likely it is to appear. Whenever you can, you should get actual pictures of things or conditions you desire and look at them repeatedly, until they are accepted as commands by your… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

Do you want a new car? Then go to the dealership and take it for a test drive. Bring the brochures home, cut them up and put pictures of… Some highlights have been hidden or truncated due to export limits.

If you have a mental picture of yourself as fit and healthy, in a slim, trim body, and you visualize that picture over and over, your subconscious mind will gradually begin to adjust your appetite, your metabolism and your desire for exercise and healthy living.

Use visualization to flood your mind at every opportunity with pictures of your ideal life.

One way of doing this is to create a “treasure map” to look at. Design a poster for your wall with either your photograph or a picture of the goal that you wish to achieve in the center. Then cut out pictures, headlines and quotations from magazines and newspapers and paste them all over the poster. Create a powerful visual representation of the ingredients that symbolize success and achievement for you.

The mistake that most people make is that they dwell upon and vividly imagine their failure experiences, what went wrong and

how they goofed.

3. Verbalization The third technique is to verbalize, to affirm aloud, with others, or alone, in front of a mirror. Standing in front of a mirror and saying very clearly and emotionally, “I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!” is a powerful way to build up your confidence for a coming challenge. Anything that you say aloud with conviction and enthusiasm has double the impact of an affirmation that you make quietly to yourself. When you insist to

Begin by thinking of yourself as you would ideally like to be. Then visualize yourself in vivid detail, as though you already were the person that you intend to become. Affirm to yourself, and verbalize aloud, strong, positive statements consistent with your goals. Remember as you do this that words do create emotion and crystallize thought. And finally, keep your behavior consistent with your new messages of success, happiness, prosperity and a positive personality.

6. Associating with Positive People Technique number six is to get around the right people. Associate with winners.

Because of the strong suggestive influence that other people have on you, for good or for ill, you must be extremely careful about who you choose to spend time with.

There is no suggestive influence more powerful than the

people around you. Select them with care.

Select one positive habit pattern or behavior that you would like to develop, and for the next twenty-one days, discipline yourself to think, visualize, verbalize, affirm

and behave in a manner consistent with the new habit you want to develop.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “A man becomes what he thinks about most of the time.”

This technique is based on another application of the Law of Reversibility. You recall the first application of this law. It states that, just as feelings generate actions, actions generate feelings. You can act your way into feeling, and the feeling will then generate the actions consistent with it. Either one can create the other. This is an essential aspect of accessing your master mind and unlocking your potential.

To put it another way, if you can create the feeling, or the emotion, that you would experience if you accomplished a goal or solved a problem, and you can hold that feeling, the feeling will create, in your physical world, the result that goes with it—the result that would trigger the emotion if the result had actually occurred.

Here is a five-step process you can use to implement this method to help bring about any desired mental, emotional or physical condition. Step one, verbalize and affirm your desired outcome. For example, if you are wrestling with a problem involving someone else, you could say, calmly and confidently, ’This situation is resolved happily with good for all concerned.” Your statement should be a clear description of your desired outcome or end state. Don’t get wrapped up

in detail. Don’t worry about the process.

Step two, visualize and clearly see the outcome you desire in this situation. See yourself, and everyone else involved, happy and at peace with the outcome. This will require effort and concentration. Step three, emotionalize your combined affirmation and visualization by creating “the feeling” that you will actually experience when everything is resolved happily. Imagine yourself already successful, the goal already attained. Step four, and this is the catalyst in the process, release the situation completely. Let it go just as you would if someone you trusted said that he would take care of it and that you need not ever think about it again. Step five is realization, the appearance in your outer world of the solution. The realization or manifestation of your desire is in direct proportion to the extent to which you have completely released all concern for the outcome and turned your mind to other things. “According to your faith, it is done unto you.” Once more, the five steps to activating the Law of Reversibility are (1) verbalization, articulating in words the desired outcome; (2) visualization, creating a clear mental picture of what the outcome will look like; (3) emotionalization, creating in yourself the feeling of satisfaction that would accompany the resolved situation; (4) releasing all concern while you turn your mind to other things; and finally, (5) realization, the appearance of the solution, or the achievement of your goal.

Written Affirmation Technique The first of these methods for accelerated change is “written affirmation technique.” To use this technique, you sit down with a pad of paper or a notebook, preferably in the morning, and write out a clear, present-tense description of your major definite purpose or goal, exactly as you would like to see it in reality. The description can be as long or as short as you like. It can be brief or detailed. You can write a present-tense description of the way you would like to see the events of the day unfold, or you can describe how you would look and feel with the new personality qualities you desire. Once you’ve written out your goals, put down your pen, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and visualize your goal as accomplished, or see the events of the day unfolding satisfactorily. As you visualize, create the feeling that would go with your imagined success. Smile and enjoy the pleasure that would accompany the achievement of your goals. Then, release it completely, let it go, open your eyes, and carry on with your day. Writing is a powerful way to imprint your goals on your subconscious mind.

The more often you write out your goals, the more rapidly they materialize. Use a spiral notebook and write them down every day.

technique. Standard Affirmation Technique The second mental programming technique you can use is “standard affirmation technique.” This consists of writing out your goals in bold letters on a series of three-inch by five-inch index cards. You write the things you want as affirmations, in the present tense and in words that are clear and definite. This method is best used twice per day, morning and evening. Find a place where you can be alone and quiet for a few minutes. Take several deep breaths to relax your body and prepare your mind. Exhale slowly. Sit comfortably with your cards in your lap. Then read the first of your goals. Close your eyes

and repeat it to yourself five times. Visualize your goal as it would be if it were already achieved. Imagine how you would walk, talk and act if the goal were a reality right now. Emotionalize your picture of the goal and create the feeling of pleasure and happiness that would accompany successful accomplishment of your desire. Then take another deep breath, exhale and release the goal confidently. Do this with each of your goals. Your subconscious mind can work effectively in this way on ten to fifteen goals at a time. (You’ll learn an advanced system for setting your goals in Chapter Five, The Master Skill.) This entire exercise should not take more than thirty to sixty seconds for each goal, for a maximum of fifteen minutes for fifteen goals.

In its simplest terms, success begins with you exercising your power of choice to take systematic, purposeful control over the thoughts you hold in your conscious mind. By

The famous oil billionaire H. L. Hunt, who went bankrupt raising cotton in Arkansas and then went on to build a fortune of several billion dollars and become one of the world’s richest men, was once asked his formula for success. He said that in America, you only needed two things to be successful: “First,” he said, “decide exactly what it is you want. Most people never do that. Second, determine the price you’re going to have to pay to get it, and

then resolve to pay that price.” The great weakness of most people is that, even if they have some idea of what they want, they have never sat down and thought through what it will take to get it, and whether or not they are willing to pay that price. We only know two things for certain about the price of success. First, in order to get whatever you desire, however you define it, you must pay the price in full. You must sow before you reap. And you may have to work a long time before you harvest the crop. This is the working of the Iron Law, the immutable Law of Cause and Effect. Most frustration in goal attainment comes from trying to violate this timeless principle. Second, you have to pay the full price in advance. Success is not like going to a restaurant where you can pay the bill after you’ve enjoyed the dinner. The success that you desire requires payment in full, in advance, every single time.

The life you are enjoying today is a reflection of the price you’ve paid up to now. The life you enjoy in the future will reflect the price you pay between now and then.

The Law of Substitution says that you can substitute a positive thought for a negative one. What positive thought do you use to substitute for negative thoughts or experiences? Your goals! Whenever something goes wrong, think about your goals. Whenever you have a bad day, think about your goals. The very thought of a goal, something that you want to accomplish in the future, is inherently positive and uplifting.

It is impossible to succeed without failing. Failure is a prerequisite for success.

Success is a numbers game. There is a direct relationship between the number of things you attempt and your probability of ultimately succeeding. Even

The twelve-step system you are about to learn is perhaps the most effective goal-achieving process ever developed. It has been used by hundreds of thousands of men and women all over the world to revolutionize their lives.

Step one: Develop desire—intense, burning desire. This is the motivational force that enables you to overcome the fear and inertia that holds most people back.

Step two: Develop belief In order to activate your subconscious mind and, as you will learn, your superconscious capabilities, you must absolutely believe that it is possible

for you to achieve your goal.

Step three: Write it down. Goals that are not in writing are not goals at all. They are merely wishes or fantasies.

When you write a goal down on a piece of paper, you crystallize it. You make it something concrete and tangible. You make it something that you can pick up and look at and hold and touch and feel. You have taken it out of your imagination and put it into a form that you can do something with.

One of the most powerful of all methods for implanting a goal into your subconscious mind is to write it out clearly, vividly, in detail, exactly as you would like to see it in reality. Decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible. Make the description of your goal perfect and ideal in every respect. Crystallize the ideal images you created in Chapter One, Make Your Life a Masterpiece. Don’t worry, for the moment, about how the goal is going to be achieved. Your main job in the beginning is to be absolutely certain about exactly what it is that you desire, and not to worry about the process of achieving it.

Step four: Make a list of all the ways that you will benefit from achieving your goal.

A young man once went to Socrates and asked him how he could gain wisdom. Socrates replied by asking the young man to come with him while they walked together into a nearby lake. When the water got to be about four feet deep, Socrates suddenly grabbed the young man and pushed his head under the water. Then he held it there. The young man thought it was a joke at first and did not resist. But as he was held under the water longer and longer, he became frantic. He struggled desperately to get free as his lungs burned for lack of oxygen. Finally Socrates let him up, coughing and spluttering and gasping for air. Socrates then said, “When you desire wisdom with the same intensity that you desired to breathe, then nothing will stop you from getting it.” It’s the same with your goals. One of your jobs is to keep your desire burning brightly by continually thinking of all of the benefits, satisfactions and rewards you will enjoy as a result of achieving your goal.

Make a list of all the benefits, tangible and intangible, that you can possibly enjoy as a result of achieving your goal. You will find that, the longer the list, the more motivated and determined you will become. If

Step five: Analyze your position, your starting point.

Step six: Set a deadline. Set deadlines on all tangible, measurable goals, such as increases in income or net worth, or losing a certain number of pounds, or running a certain number of miles.

In your thinking, start from a visualization of your goal as already accomplished and work back to the present. Project yourself forward in your mind to your completed goal, and then look back to where you are today. Imagine the steps that you would have taken to get from where you are now to where you want to be in the future. This

“Project forward, look backward” is a powerful technique that enables you to see possibilities and pitfalls that you might otherwise miss. It sharpens your perceptions and gives you insights you can get in no other way.

Step seven: Make a list of all the obstacles that stand between you and the accomplishment of your goal.

Step eight: Identify the additional information you will need to achieve your goal.

Step nine: Make a list of all the people whose help and cooperation you will require.

The law of compensation is a special variation on the Law of Sowing and Reaping. It is a restatement of the Law of Cause and Effect. It has its counterpart in physics in a law that states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It states that, for everything you do, you will be compensated in kind. You will get out what you put in. This law also states that other people will help you achieve your goals only if they feel that they will be compensated for their efforts in some way. No one works for nothing. Everyone has his or her

own personal motivation. This should be your starting point in gaining the cooperation of others. Ask yourself the question, “What are you going to do for them to get them to help you?”

You must continually tune in to each person’s favorite radio station, WIIFM, “What’s in it for me?”

If you want to increase the quantity and quality of your returns, your rewards, you need but to increase the quantity and quality of your service. By always doing more than you’re paid for, you’ll eventually be paid more than you’re getting now. By putting more in, you’ll get more out. By “overcontributing” you’ll end up being “overcompensated.”

Step ten: Make a plan. Write out, in detail, what you want, when you want it, why you want it and where you are starting from. Make a list of the obstacles you must overcome, the information you will require, and the people whose help you will need. With answers to steps one through nine, you have all the ingredients of a complete master plan for the achievement of any goal.

Step eleven: Use visualization. Create a clear mental picture of your goal as it would appear if it were already achieved. Replay this picture over and over again on the screen of your mind. Each time you visualize your goal as accomplished, you increase your desire and intensify your belief that the goal is achievable for you. And what you see is what you get.

“Nothing succeeds like success.” You must develop the success habit by doing something every single day to move you toward your goals. Review them every morning and think about them every day. Always be looking for something you can do to contribute to their achievement.

There are very few limitations on what you can accomplish. Most of them are self-imposed. They are the result of fears and doubts that stop you from trying. And you can overcome these self-limiting beliefs by taking actions consistent with your major purpose. The success and happiness you dream of begins with this system of goal setting, with you deciding exactly what you want and then doing what it takes to accomplish it.

The secret of the ages, the key to health, happiness and prosperity for you and me, has been found in what is called the superconsciotis mind.

Many of the greatest thinkers who have ever

lived have stood in awe before this power and have written about it, calling it many different names. Madame Blavatsky, the Russian theosophist, called it “the secret doctrine.” Poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson called it “the oversoul,” and he said, “We lie in the lap of an immense intelligence that responds to our every need.” Emerson compared this intelligence to an ocean and said that when we receive insights from it, we recognize them as coming from far beyond ourselves and our own limited minds. Napoleon Hill referred to this power as “infinite intelligence,” calling it the universal storehouse of knowledge and the source of all imagination and creativity. He claimed that the ability to access this intelligence was a central part of the great success enjoyed by the hundreds of wealthy men and women he interviewed over the years. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst, called it the “supra-conscious mind,” and said that it contained within it all the wisdom of the human race, past, present and future. It has also been called the “universal subconscious mind,” the “collective unconscious” and the “universal mind,” and many people refer to it as the “God-mind,” or the “creative subconscious.” Whatever you choose to call it, there is almost no limit to what you can accomplish when you tap it, use it and let it use you on a regular basis.

The superconscious mind is the source of all pure creativity.

Edison regularly tapped his superconscious mind to find the solutions that led to his hundreds of successful inventions. Nikola Tesla, perhaps the greatest electrical genius of his age, was able to construct models of electric motors in his mind, disassemble them mentally, reassemble them, and repair them until they were perfect. He could then go into a workshop and build a totally new machine or motor that would work perfectly the very first time.

However, to generate this motivation, your superconscious mind requires clear, specific goals to which you are completely committed. It then releases ideas and energy for goal attainment.

Your superconscious mind responds best to clear, authoritative commands, or what are called “positive affirmations.” Every time that you affirm a goal or a desire from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind, you activate your superconscious mind to release the ideas and energy that you need to bring your desire into reality. This is why decisiveness is such an important trait of successful men and women. Because they know exactly what they want, their superconscious powers are working for them continuously.

mind to release the ideas and energy that you need to bring your desire into reality. This is why decisiveness is such an important trait of successful men and women. Because they know exactly what they want, their superconscious powers are working for them continuously.

When you affirm “I like myself,” or “I can do it,” or “I earn $XXX per year,” you are throwing the master switch on all your mental powers. You are “turning on” in the most powerful way possible.

Cut off all thought of quitting or retreating, or doing something else. Make the decision that you are going to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal, and that nothing is going to stop you.

them. Peter Drucker, the well-known management expert and author of The Effective Executive, says, “Whenever you find something getting done, anywhere, you will find a monomaniac with a mission.” Whenever you find great achievement, you find an individual who is absolutely clear about what he or she wants to do, and who is willing to do whatever it takes, for however long it takes, to achieve it.

Your main job is to keep your thoughts on your goal. Your superconscious mind will automatically and continuously solve each problem on the way to your goal as and when the problem arises. You can trust absolutely in this superconscious power to function for you as long as your goal is clear.

Napoleon Hill found that almost every one of the wealthy men he interviewed had achieved their great successes one step beyond what appeared to be their greatest failure. It was when every outward indication suggested that it was time to quit and to give up that they were the very closest to breaking through to their goals.

A characteristic of successful men and women is that they never use the word “failure.” They look upon temporary defeats and setbacks as simply another way of learning how to succeed. They seek within every obstacle or disappointment the seed of an equal or greater benefit or opportunity. They learn from every experience.

Here is a simple, five-step process you can use to bring all the powers of your superconscious mind to bear on a single issue. Step one: Define the problem or goal clearly, preferably in writing. What is it exactly that you want to achieve, or exactly what is the problem you wish to solve? Step two: Gather as much information as you can. Read, research, ask questions and actively seek the answer that you need. Step three: Consciously try to solve the problem by reviewing all the information you have gathered. Step four: If you still have not been able to solve the problem consciously, turn it over to your superconscious mind. Release it confidently, the way you would release a balloon, and let it float away. Step five: Get your conscious mind busy elsewhere. Turn your attention away and let your superconscious mind take care of it for you! Take any problem you are wrestling with right now and try this method on it. You will be amazed at the results.

There are several ways to stimulate superconscious activity. The first and most dependable is simply to think about your goals all the time. This alone will keep you happy and focused. It will cause superconscious energies to flow through you in the form of ideas and motivation toward goal attainment. The second way to stimulate your superconscious mind is through the practice of solitude, “going into the silence.” Men and women begin to become great when they start taking time to be alone with themselves. Solitude is a wonderful tonic that gives balance and clarity to thought. It provides an opportunity for you to reflect on who you are and what is important to you.

Most people have never deliberately sat down alone with themselves for any period of time. If this is your first experience with solitude, you will find it excruciatingly difficult. For the first twenty-five to thirty minutes you will have an almost irresistible urge to get up and move around. You will find it almost impossible to sit still. But if you have the self-control to sit without moving for thirty minutes, something remarkable will happen. You will start to feel calm, relaxed and at peace with yourself. You will feel happy and at one with the world.

The third way to trigger superconscious activity is to visualize your goal as realized. Create a clear mental picture of exactly the goal or outcome you want. Dwell on this picture repeatedly until it is accepted as a command by your subconscious mind and is passed on to your superconscious mind for realization.

Perhaps one of the most enjoyable ways to turn on your super-conscious powers is to go for a walk or to commune with nature in some way. The sounds of the ocean on the seashore seem to have a powerful impact on the superconscious, as do those of any running water or natural environment. Any form of deep relaxation or meditation also stimulates your superconscious mind.

Earlier I encouraged you to start off each morning by saying, “I believe something wonderful is going to happen to me today.” If you go through your day believing that something wonderful is about to happen to you, you will meet people and come across information that will make your expectation a reality. You will get super-conscious solutions to your problems in the most surprising ways.

Norman Vincent Peale says that whenever God wants to send you a gift, he wraps it up in a problem. The bigger the problem, the bigger the gift. Is the glass half empty or is the glass half full? Successful, happy people make a habit of looking into even the most difficult situation for something positive, something they can learn or some way they can benefit. And this very attitude often triggers a superconscious insight or solution to their problem.

Schedule one solid hour of solitude during which you sit perfectly still for the entire sixty minutes. Discipline yourself to do this as soon as possible. During this period of silence, shut everything else out of your mind. Just push your problems aside for the moment. Let your mind wander. Daydream. Don’t try to think of anything specific. Temporarily step outside of your work and personal life. Turn everything over to your superconscious mind and release all your cares and worries. Sometime during this hour, your mind will go calm and clear. You will feel relaxed and happy.

And with no effort at all on your part, exactly the answer you need at that moment will come to you. At the end of the hour get up and follow your intuition. Do what your superconscious has guided you to do. Don’t worry about whether someone else will approve or agree. The answer will be exactly right, and you’ll probably never make another mistake.

By continually facing your problems honestly and objectively, you become a more confident and competent person. You become stronger and more self-reliant. You stop being afraid of unpleasant situations in your work or personal life. You deal with life as it is, not as you wish it were. To be your own psychotherapist, to achieve inner peace and outer effectiveness, there is a simple question you can ask yourself whenever you feel unhappy or “out of sorts” for any reason. Assume first of all that your discontent is caused from within. Then turn into yourself and ask this key question, “What is it in my life that I am not facing?”

Never compromise your peace of mind for anything. Set peace of mind as your highest goal and organize every part of your life around it.

In every case, it is your perception that triggers the feeling of anger. It is the way you interpret the event to yourself.

The solution to high blood pressure is usually not a change of medication, but a change of attitude toward the inevitable ups and downs of day-to-day life.

Angry outbursts are a mark of weakness. They demonstrate immaturity and a lack of control. Someone who gets angry all the time is responding like a child, with no self-discipline or self-restraint. Make two decisions: first, get your anger under control; and second, stop using anger as a response to things you don’t like. Resolve to be more patient, and to withhold judgment until you’ve studied the situation and asked a few questions to slow yourself down.

Take control of your tendency to blame or lash out by catching yourself and repeating, over and over, “I am responsible, I am responsible, I am responsible.”

You may not be responsible for being cut off in traffic but you are definitely responsible for the way you choose to respond.

Repeat to yourself, “I like myself,” or “I am responsible.”

Examine your life and identify one area in which you experience stress or anxiety. Write out a clear definition of the stressful situation. Then write out a list of all the things that you can do immediately to alleviate this stressful situation.

What is there in your life that you’re not facing? What is the worst that it could possibly be?

For example, if you want to impress people, the direct way of going about it is to try to convince them of your admirable qualities and accomplishments. But trying to impress another person by talking about yourself usually makes you feel a little foolish, and sometimes even embarrassed. The indirect way of impressing another person, however, is simply to be impressed by the other person. The more you are impressed by the other

person, by who he or she is, or what he or she has accomplished, the more likely it is that the other person will be impressed by you. If you want to get someone interested in you, the direct way is to tell him or her all about yourself. But the indirect way works better. It is simply to become interested in him or her. The more interested you become in another person, the more likely it is that the other person will become interested in you.

If you want to be happy, the direct way is to do whatever you can think of that will make you happy. However, the most enjoyable and lasting form of happiness comes from making someone else happy. By the Law of Indirect Effort, whenever you do or say anything that makes someone else happy, you feel happy yourself. You boost your own spirits, your own self-esteem.

The most important applications of this Law of Indirect Effort have to do with developing a healthy personality in yourself. You are structured in such a way that everything you do to another person has a reciprocal effect on yourself.

Since self-esteem is the hallmark of the healthy personality, you can actually improve the health of your own personality by taking every opportunity to improve the health of the personalities of others. What you sow in the lives of others, you reap in your own life.

The key to raising the self-esteem of others, using the Law of Indirect Effort, is simply to make others feel important.

Destructive criticism of any kind lowers self-esteem faster than any other behavior. More relationships and personalities are damaged or ruined by destructive criticism than by all other negative influences put together. Destructive criticism attacks the core of human personality, triggering feelings of guilt, inferiority and undeservingness. When a person is criticized, even with so-called “constructive criticism,” he or she immediately feels angry and defensive and wants to defend and strike back. By the Law of Reciprocity, whenever you do or say something that hurts others, especially when it attacks their self-esteem, you make them want, or even need, to strike back, to get even.

Henry Ford said it well: “Never complain, never explain.” The habit of finding things to complain about attracts other complainers into your life and your social circle. By the Law of Concentration, which states that whatever you dwell upon grows in your reality, the more you complain, the more you find to complain about, and the more people you find to complain with.

The second self-esteem-building behavior you can practice is “acceptance.”

A Chinese proverb says, “A man without a smile should not open a shop.” Salespeople, business people, anyone whose livelihood depends on the patronage or the support of others has to learn how to practice acceptance in his or her relationships. The Law of Reciprocity states that if you make people feel good by smiling and greeting them positively, they will want to reciprocate by treating you the same way. Willy Loman, in Death of a Salesman, said, “The most important thing is to be liked.” When people like you, they are far more willing to cooperate with you. The starting point of being liked is to like other people. And the way that you express that you like another person is by giving that person a warm, heartfelt smile when you meet him or her.

The third step you can take to raise the self-esteem of others is by expressing appreciation. One of the deepest cravings of human nature is the need to be appreciated. Whenever you express gratitude or appreciation toward another person for anything that the other person has done, you make him or her feel more valuable, more competent and more worthwhile.

The first rule of good conversation is to cue the subject to your listener. Talk to people about subjects that interest them. Any subjects, including the subjects that used to be taboo in conversation, are okay if they are of interest to the person you are speaking with. You can discuss politics and religion if the other people you are talking with want to do it. But if you see that you are getting no response to a particular subject, back off quickly and talk about something else.

Perhaps the most important part of cuing your conversation to your listener is to be sensitive to the amount of interest shown by the other person. If he or she becomes fidgety, begins looking around or off into the distance, it’s a sign that you need to change the subject to something of greater interest. When this happens, simply pause for a moment, then ask a question starting with one of the words, What? Where? When? How? Why? or Who? “How long have you lived here?” “Where did you go to school?” “When did you start at that company?”

Benjamin Franklin, in his autobiography, tells about how he totally changed his personality and his effectiveness with others, by preceding each of his opinions with the words, “It seems to me that” or “Some people say that,” and so on. If you present your opinions in a tentative way, to indicate that you are open to the possibility that you could be wrong, you will find it much easier for others to listen to you and to appreciate your ideas.

There is nothing black or white in areas that are highly subject to individual opinions or tastes. Your views on politics, religion, sex, nutrition or any other subject on which there are many different viewpoints, are just that: your views. If you make it clear that you are open to other opinions and other interpretations, people will be much more open to yours.

You too can become a brilliant conversationalist by learning how to speak and, especially, by learning how to listen.

The secret is that you can become popular and likable by doing two things. First, get out of yourself and get into the lives and concerns of others. Become genuinely interested in them. Ask them questions and listen to them. Think of ways that you can help them. Practice the law of sowing and reaping. Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.

Second, get busy working on yourself and your goals. Develop your unique talents. Get good at what you do. The better you do the things that are important to you, the more you like yourself. And the more you like and respect yourself, the more comfortable and effective you are with others. Nothing succeeds like success.

The choice of a mate, and the quality of your home and family life, determines your success as a human being as much as or more than any other factor.

“No success in public life can compensate for failure in the home.” Your personal relationships should take precedence over everything else.

By the Law of Attraction, you will attract into your life the kind of people who are very much the way you are, the kind of people whose ways of thinking and behaving correspond to your dominant thoughts and feelings. As you become more positive, optimistic and loving, you will naturally attract into your life more positive, optimistic and loving people.

By the Law of Sowing and Reaping you will reap exactly what you sow, and there is no area in which this is more true than in your relationships.

with others. You get out of your marriage or your romance exactly what you put into it. The more of yourself that you put into a relationship, the more love, satisfaction and joy you will get out of it. Men and women are born incomplete, and need each other to become whole.

Divorced men die from heart disease, cancer and strokes at double the rate of married men.

For you to experience self-acceptance, you must first develop selfawareness. You need to understand why you think, feel and act the way you do. You need to be aware of the impact of the formative experiences of your life. You need to understand how and why you have become the person that you are today.

One psychologist said recently, “If everyone learned to really listen to other people, 75 percent of the psychotherapists in the United States would

be out of work by next Wednesday.”

love is a verb: Love is an action word. “To love” requires that you do the things that a loving person would do if you wish to feel the emotion that a person in love would feel. You may be able to act your way back into loving the person you have fallen out of love with.

You learn to love another person by doing loving things with and for that person. Small attentions, little favors, kindnesses, gifts and other things that make the other person happy actually make you love the person more.

The Greek word for this process of rekindling love through action is called Praxis. The Principle of Praxis states that you generate emotions in yourself by doing things consistent with those emotions over and over until they kindle into flames. You act your way into feeling,

Program. You can put the love back into your relationship by once more doing the things that you did during courtship. You can start to be more caring, more attentive, more understanding and more sympathetic. As you act the part of a loving spouse, you may find your feelings toward the other person beginning to change for the better. You can act your way back into love. By thinking loving thoughts about the other and by talking to the other in a loving and courteous way, you can often rekindle the feelings that once brought you together. Look into the other person for the good qualities you once admired. Forgive and forget mistakes that the other person may have made. More than anything, acting your way back into love requires that you really want to stay with this person, that you really want to rebuild and preserve this relationship.

The most important thing in life is love.

You should do everything possible to build and maintain a loving relationship with another person, including listening, expressing gratitude and appreciation, treating the other person with kindness, courtesy, gentleness, patience and especially compassion. You should make every effort to build a loving relationship within which you can live indefinitely.

Since happy relationships are central to your self-esteem and happiness, make the decision to get your primary relationship in order. Resolve to sit down with the other person and ask him or her, “What can we do more of, or less of, to make this a wonderful relationship?” Change your order of priorities, of values, if necessary and make your relationship more important than anything else. Be willing to make sacrifices, changes, if necessary to ensure the quality and stability of your home and the emotional health of the person you care about more than anyone else.

You are a mental creature. Almost everything that happens to you happens as a result of the way you think. If you change or improve the quality of your thinking, you automatically change and improve the quality of your life.

worthwhile goals and aspirations. The Law of Belief states that whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. If you love and respect yourself, and you believe yourself capable of accomplishing great things, you are almost certain to achieve far more than if you doubt yourself, or if you do not believe in your personal potential. The Law of Expectations states that whatever you expect, with confidence, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect the best of yourself and others, which is the natural expression of a loving attitude, you will seldom be disappointed. You will acquire far more of the things you want if you confidently expect good things to happen to you, and you behave accordingly.

The Law of Substitution says that you can replace a negative thought with a positive thought. When you consciously select the content of your conscious mind, and keep your thoughts focused on love, patience, tolerance and forgiveness, you crowd out negative thoughts that disrupt your peace of mind, undermine your health and energy and harm your relationships.

The Bible says, “Judge not that ye be not judged,” and, “Pray for those who spitefully use you.” When you respond to anger and negativity with love and kindness, you not only preserve your own emotional integrity and maintain a positive mental attitude, but you also help the other person.

Self-esteem and self-respect are the foundation qualities of the truly healthy personality. Everything you do to raise your own self-esteem contributes to making you a happier human being. No matter how low your self-esteem is when you begin, you can ratchet it up one notch

at a time, like jacking up a car, by doing some of the things we’ve talked about in this book. You can speak to yourself positively all the time. You can visualize yourself as the very best person that you can possibly be. You can fill your mind with positive messages of hope and inspiration. You can associate with happy, optimistic, goal-oriented people. You can organize every part of your life to continually reinforce good feelings about yourself.

The fourth way to build self-esteem is to take good care of yourself physically. When you eat healthy, nutritious foods and get lots of sleep and regular exercise, you cannot help but feel better about yourself.

Fifth, and perhaps the fastest way to boost your self-esteem, is simply to repeat “I like myself I like myself I like myself” over and over, fifty to one hundred times a day, until you implant this message deep in your subconscious mind.

LOVE IS AN ACTIVE VERB

The word love is a verb, an active verb. Love is not just something that you feel; it is something that you do.

The Greek word for this is “Praxis.” Praxis means that it is the practice of the actions that accompany the emotion that actually creates the emotion itself.